I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
