He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have already put on my inside pants.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
