I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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