I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize