when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
