so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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