Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
