**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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