I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
