I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I need moral support for this bender
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
