I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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