He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
