i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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