We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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