yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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