will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
