Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
