We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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