he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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