I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize