well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
