We're facebook friends in real life
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
