so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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