i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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