She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
