So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
