my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
