Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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