There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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