Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
