gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
