physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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