we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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