Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's get the cat blown out
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
