I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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