thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
