This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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