Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize