Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's the barista slut.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
