when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
