Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
