The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
