that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just pee around me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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