who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
