you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
