I heard we made out
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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