i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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