This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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