what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
