the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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