Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
