Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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