I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
