I'm jealous of your bromance
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They took my balls.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
