It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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