is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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