And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
