I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I want a musical about memes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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