would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
