You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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