i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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