I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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